What’s good for the goose is good for the gander .. So I joined tinder myself, we hadn’t really spoken or been near each other in 6 months so my thoughts were if my family is doomed to at least try and get some happiness which would give my boys happiness in the long run .. happy dad is a playful dad and my boys love to play.
The use of my friend cocaine became more and more but like a daily coffee to a white-collar worker with a stacked-out rewards loyalty card in Starbucks! …. hadn’t really had much responsibility as I was always at work and that was an easy job Charlied up on the weighbridge. It became normal for me to have brunch and have a bump to liven me up and out of desperation and despair , Andy would come up to me In the yard and say ” had a bit of magic hey mate , which was strange as he never called it that ever ” which was followed with a wink just saying that it was all cool with him , although I was eating I started to lose weight .
The sales agent Sarah had been out to view our house to put on the market but there’s a lot of work that needs to be done to the house.
Kate spent more and more times out with her friend Becca she would often go to the gym and go for coffees always saying or I won’t be long I’m just nipping out for a bit… Once she said she went down to Tesco’s by us and said that she would meet this Becca for coffee and catch up on work from the Swansea university medical centre.
Kates work always bothered me, it was very strange that she had ask permission to do anything including having a day off, it was hard, she had to clear it by some sort of tricky procedure .. it was hard for her to book any holidays… Once I caught her out again she said she was going for a coffee by Tesco and when I asked my daughter to check if she was there as jazz worked in Swansea in different branches , I haven’t mentioned yet Princess Jasmin but Jasmin will have her own chapter later on in the book… Kate would say she was in Costas but I knew jazz was working so I would often ask or say to Jasmin have you seen Kate today day. And reply would be no not in this Costas dad !!
I would catch Kate out left right and centre on anything that she did… She once went to three hen parties from work. We never ever went to a wedding, not one…
I asked her once to show me one picture, just one picture of her at a hen party…
Never ever had one but when I used to call her on these hen parties when I was at home with the children the phone was always off, unable to connect!!!
I thought she was meeting someone once again so columbo decided to open a fab swinger account and look for clues, pictures, a history, some verifications of her so to speak to try and work out her movements and catch her with a photo meeting someone on there .. sneaky beaky intelligence style.
Also with a fake account of a women with an exact same profile as ames999 was set up to see who came out of the rotten woodwork
But this fake account was amesnew999!!!
Derek, who worked for me at the scrap yard on and off, started the investigation with Me as he was there too.
We joined forces to ramp up my mission… a sort of a double pronged attack …
I left the new fake newames999 run a couple of days to see what was going to show up I put a status up ” got caught on my last account by my boyfriend, please only message me if we have met or chatted before ! No newbies who I don’t know just want old connections “
So my fab was up and running and her honey trap account was too .. let’s see what the trap collects???
More and more she spent time with becks, coffee meetings while I sorted out the list of jobs to be done on the house to make it saleable. I had a good mate called Matthew to come up with the list of jobs he could do for me as a favour as I was due to be his brother’s best man in a fancy wedding down the Gower area ..
The jobs on that list would take about two weeks to complete so that was in hand while I looked for something or somewhere in between to give them space .. I couldn’t find anything at all online so I thought maybe I could buy something outright as my pot was healthy, I could potentially buy something for 70k and rent it out when I went to Spain.
I cracked on with the yard and with my dwindling relationship ending my mind went on to what’s next for Craig???
There was a bloke called Ashley who came to the yard and was a customer… I got friendly with him and we would talk often .. Ashley lived over the Riverside caravan park… I knew where it was but only went there once with my ex-partner at the yard as his dad Jeff lived there, I would speak to Ashley and I would bend his ear about things going on at home .. Most people thought he was a moron… but getting to know Ashley I realised he was a shrewd businessman .. he would buy and sell anything, and I mean anything… I called him one sun on a bank holiday and asked him well begged him was there anything for sale over there ..a static pitch for my tourer would do which at the time was down Tenby as a good friend called Taff D was using as he was sort of homeless .. he asked Alistair who owned the whole site he said he would let me know ..
Being impatient I asked ash would he consider selling me his static that he bought off his mate also called Ashley… he would not even consider it and said he would see me in the week .. no problems mate catch up soon …
Over an hour went by and he called back and said .. if I was to sell and IF he said, what price would I give him? .. I said I was desperate and I would give him his money back and 5 points (£1000 a point) over I would give the 2 points for him as profit and 3 points for his children’s savings .. the salesman turned on within me and within an hour I had him convinced. I said a number and he was happy .. it was a boiling bank holiday and I said I’ll be over now as I had nothing to do then… I grabbed 20k from my pot for him to show him I was serious… and I would leave it as a deposit… Getting to the site I remember it well there was a big queue at the front gate so I got out and walked cars and there were 4 women scrapping .. I called ash and said what the fuck mate is it always like this .. he said sometimes ??
I laughed as he said keep coming through past the rabble .. come past the clubhouse and go around the lake with the swans on .. I said ” lake ” he replied I’m over on what they call the millionaires row .. I laughed and said what .. millionaires’ row?? He laughed and said it was the tax haven for the Swansea business men who didn’t like the tax or vat man .. ahhhhhhhhh right I get it now .. getting past the club house a football hit my van and I said ” oiiiiii ” to the boys and the reply was ” fuck you ” I was like oh great here we go I’ve bought a static caravan and it’s in a place I won’t like .. well I didn’t have the feel for it right then ..I called Andy and he said that I was paying to much and being a traveller I knew he was right and trusted his judgement .. but at the time it was ok as the volcano at home was unbelievably awkward and I hated the feeling in the house .. I wanted my fresh start and sooner the better
So me and Ashley made a deal with the only Clause was that he would move out when he was ready over the next month or so when he could get a house to rent so with my new place all set up, I headed home to middle road… I checked the swingers account now and then .. but I couldn’t bare the truth .. the inbox was filling up and I’d slam the laptop down as soon as I saw the inbox number had gone up from the day or so before, the relationship was over months and months before so was there anything else I needed to know ??
I checked my tinder account and there were a few messages but one stood out as we were a match .. her name was Sian and I’d been out with 4 Sian’s so I’d thought at least the name would be familiar hey!
We messaged back and forth and we really got on .. she understood that I was on the end of a break up as she had been through one too and was living, well cohabitating on a break up .. we got on so much I arranged a date with her .. god knows what Katie was up too with all those people off the sites so I went for it .. and to be honest I felt she didn’t deserve me .. I was looking for laughter and smiles and I got this from Sian .. like a shining diamond… It was a week before my birthday in June and I told Jasmin and Andy who were happy to see me looking forward to something instead of being torn to pieces all of the time .. I had a slight spring in my step and I was hoping to get out there .. get social again and maybe fire on all 4 cylinders instead of 1 .. I was not myself, let’s say I was 10% of the man I was a year or two ago but that was enough to see any glimmer of any hope for the future !!
I told Kate I was going out to be polite and didn’t know if I would be home .. the kids weren’t there anyway that night .. me and Sian hit it off from the start .. she was so fun to be around and speak to .. she said to me when I was on the way to meet her for a social drink that she had a confession to make to me .. I thought fuck here we go .. I knew this was too good to be true as on her pictures on tinder she didn’t look 40 years old .. so I thought it was a wind up .. she explained that she wasn’t a size 8 and she was now a size 10 .. I was like what .. ? Thank you for being so honest and while we are being honest, I’ll tell you something that I haven’t mentioned yet!! She said ok go on? I said I’m a flat out coke addict… she laughed and said oh well, we all have our crutches .. mine is white wine!
I burst out laughing and said to myself god she will see the good in every one, as I sensed she was a kind soul ..
We met up and had a drink and this couple asked if they could join us to which we agreed and they thought we were together for years. That’s how well we got on after only meeting an hour before… her sense of humour and laugh was so refreshing and I knew that someone or something had put her into my life for a reason .. She asked me are we were eating… I said yeah if you want .. what you want and will you mind if I have a steak as I’m craving for one .. will you mind she said .. of course not I’ll have one too why not? she was confused and asked if I was only a part time vegan .. I’m like part time… she said you don’t have to break your morals for me to sort of impress .. I said I know .. she looked confused… I said what are you on about? She said that in my tinder account it said I was a vegan .. She was also interested in how I managed to fit in being a yoga teacher and paddle board instructor .. I laughed while she looked at me with a grin and worked out that wasn’t true either .. she said ” your name is Craig though, right? ” Yeah that’s me I said .. good she said you’re not a complete liar then!!! We both laughed .. We had a great time and there is a couple of more stories of funny things that happened at the pub that night but I’ll leave them out as it’s a had to been there sort of laugh .
We got in really well and we would message so much .. I started calming on the cocaine as Sian filled a black hole not in my heart but in me generally as a person .. the last 2 years had been hell and so much hurt me and it was like I went over a hill of pain and hurt and now I was smiling and laughing… she was and is such a lovely women, a fantastic mother and a loyal friend… always thinking of others before herself and it was so natural to her although she never had much luck herself and that’s where I’ll leave that as she is important to my story ahead ..
Having planned with Ashley to move in at the end of June I would stay at the middle road house but in the back spare bedroom which I made comfy with a bed and TV .. I would spend all my time in work as often as I could and at home I would recluse to my room .. once everyone was in bed me and Sian would message and stay up later and later .. she was like a magnetic force to me .. only happiness I got from the lengthy talks we had every night .. I asked Sian to come away with me to Tenby for my birthday weekend and she agreed I was over the moon and was looking forward to it so much as she hadn’t been away for a while .. She never had any of her time as she was doing long shifts at work and then all her spare time would be with her lovely 2 daughters. As she made me so happy and although it was my birthday weekend I planned to spoil her rotten .. we had a great laugh on the way down there in the van and she was so happy .. we were so happy .. it was so easy to get on with her .. I was just my usual self although not fully… but around Sian i was different… I was proud to be around her .. she is so pretty and her personality matched .. After the weekend in Tenby where I introduced her to my army mate Taff Davies who had a Barbers shop I dropped her off and went home to the house .. I picked up Elis and Miles and took them over to Smyths toys to spoil them on Father’s Day… I was only just down road and Kate called me going mental and I mean really mental .. I had never seen this side of her .. ever!! She screamed who the hell is Sian?? I’ve just found a birthday card off her in your bag? .. I didn’t lie and said it’s the girl I’ve started getting friendly with and she’s wonderful!
Berserk isn’t the word… she was yelling all the way on the phone to the shop .. I kept telling her .. listen you know it’s over, the house is up for sale and we are done that’s be clear for some time .. I didn’t argue with her I just explained carefully that I was moving on and couldn’t face being so down anymore as I was heading for suicide… Sian was an angel who was good for me .. fuck the screams came back .. how dare you? How could you do this to me? You’ve been seeing her for years .. ?
I said once and only once .. ” at least she bought me a birthday card ” oh fuck the screams started and I bumped into Jasmin over there in Smyths toys and she asked what’s that noise and I said it’s Kate in my back pocket she just found out about Sian .. Jasmin said ” oh god dad .. after everything she put you through… how dare she? ” I know princess I replied, Jasmin knew about Sian from the week before as I told her I was going on a date .. what would happen when I got back with the boys to the house was unknown but one thing was for sure .. I was happy at that moment and after everything that went on the previous years, I deserved a taste of happiness… Didn’t I??
Bananas isn’t the word .. she went ape shit …!!!
At this point I was in the middle of what I can only describe as a breakdown myself .. I was functioning ok but my mind was gone .. was it guilt of looking elsewhere for happiness I’m not sure, I didn’t feel it but my nerves were shot to pieces !!!
Trying not to argue with the boys there when I got back to the house .. I walked in and grabbed some things and decided to go stay in a hotel to give us both some peace of this messy break up with two small children involved…
It was mainly her that was so angry at me but I couldn’t see that I had done anything wrong at all .. her point of view was I was carrying on and we were all still in a happy relationship with children.. I didn’t see it that way at all and stressed this over and over to her …
I had some time away from the yard and made the decision not to go back .. everyone who thought they knew me all presumed Andy forced me out etc etc blah blah.. but the truth is me and only Andy knew ..
I called him and said I needed to speak with him after the yard had closed .. he knew what was coming as he could see my decline with everything that went on all around my life at that time .. we sat on the weighbridge, and I said to him.” Do you know what mate? As soon as I find out who ruined my family I’m going to kill them I swear ..” he turned to me and said are you going to kill me ? God no mate you are like the brother I lost .. we are so close why would you think that? He shook his head and said I’m not pushing you out honestly mate .. I replied I know mate; I know! This is something I need to do .. I started this business from nothing and when I was just about to give up you turned up like an angel! My time in the scrap game is up .. he mentioned money to buy me out and I refused to talk about it until I got over and whatever it was that was happening to me .. we cried and cried together as we made the business successful and I had my money back and I always said to him that if he didn’t have the yard once I left, no one would ! I told him that I’m not running away to have my breakdown. I’ll still be there to help understand all the admin that needed doing and he was shocked at the amount I did behind the scenes .. nether less I was out on the scrap metal game!
I was back and forth the house in between sleeping in the van down the Gower and the odd hotel stay in Swansea .. I was lost and although I was in contact with Sian .. I pretty much stayed alone … I stayed with Ashley now and then when his kids weren’t over .. and it was fun as he used to keep a motorbike in the caravan kitchen… and thought it was normal and we would have to move it to get in any cupboard in the caravan kitchen .. we used to chat while having the odd takeaway and he would lean on a motocross bike in the kitchen. I never saw him sit down once. It still makes me laugh that he thought it was normal to lean on the seat to chat with his mate, so depending on how I was feeling I would stay in a hotel or van obviously weather dependent… I enjoyed the peace and had Dexter woof woof some nights… God knows what was happening at home, but I would later find out!!
So with the house ready for sale and me stressed out telling Katie over and over that she would not have to leave until her house in town was available as she felt like I was turfing her and the boys out and this wasn’t the case… while she was in work and the boys I would tidy the House and do viewings for potential buyers of my dream home that was no more .. half the time I would be crying and hiding in the shed while Sarah walked the buyers around and telling the potential new owners about the area etc etc with Me sobbing away at the sadness of it all …
Within days we had the offer in and we accepted, Kate instructed the tenant to leave in the house we 1st lived in so she and the boys could move there and the wheels were in motion that we all as a family would go our separate ways ..
I started the move into the caravan and took some of my things with the help of Matthew and Gemma his missus, Ashley left the caravan and moved into a house .. so my new chapter was about to start .. Derek who worked for me at the yard and helped me with odd jobs around the house during lockdown and I would pay him as a thanks not much but he was always happy to earn a few extra quid on the side as he stopped working at the yard about 6 months before I left…now Derek is a funny one .. I met him when I worked at the yard on my own before Andy turned up .. he turned up one day at the yard on a Saturday while he was living in port Talbot, he called ahead and said he wanted to weigh in some alloy wheels which I said no problem too.
So we got chatting and he said he bought and sold properties, he would buy them at auction do a little work for them to for investors, investors with major money to spare .. he would say that the people who he spent their money are so loaded that buying a house is like buying a second hand car it was peanuts to them .. so anyway after I paid him he just stood about for literally like 45mins while I was serving customers… he just stood there smiling .. I said to him your all paid mind Derek he said I know I just checked the bank it’s all there from GMS ltd .. so I asked was he ok and could I help with anything else .. he said no he was fine and I looked at him stupid and with a smile I said if your sticking about you may as well sweep the shed, no problems he said where’s the brush, so I gave him the brush and off he went to sweep my shed .. I bought him something to eat and he was happy as a pig in shit .. he was smiling nonstop so in between serving customers I said I can’t pay you. He said it’s ok he was happy to help .. and for the next few weeks every Saturday he would turn up with his nieces or nephews to help clean the yard or shed. he was quite strict with them telling them what to do and I didn’t get involved as it wasn’t my business although I did say to him now and then that there was to be no shouting in my yard to which he agreed…and that went in for about a month or so .. free labour and the yard looking clean!
So with all my furniture in the caravan and Ashley’s stuff out apart from the shed I made it my own .. my chesterfield sofas out, my taxidermy and guitars all put up with all my pictures of my children everywhere… I felt like a king in his castle .. locks changed and that was that .. I was now living away from everything and everyone… unpacked and locks changed to settle for a life without my family and the dream of leaving the country.