Two vodkas down and I cracked open my first lager … I proceeded to tell her
about the troubles I had since opening the scrap yard and my troubles at home!
She was in a state of shock .. and the only thing that stood out in the early part
of the conversation was that she was in agreement that I needed a well-earned
break in the sun ..
Going over everything that had happened so far was so easy to talk about , it
felt like she was my therapist.
She was very nice and understanding.. when the conversation got to the
surveillance part she leaned over and listened closely… very closely… asking
certain questions about certain things that I had said… she was so lovely I
ordered more drinks and snacks .. all being the upcoming problems I had
expected to come my way on landing and indeed the police and border control
in Croatia… I immersed myself in telling her what had happened to me and the
way I told it she explained to me that she could see and imagine the situation
part by part as I told it .. she would put her head back and say oh god, oh never
.. that must have been difficult to live through… she would prompt me on when
I would stop for a sip of my lager .. she was so interested in my surveillance
and my counter surveillance at the caravan… she would ask about certain
things, specific things about the hacking in my phones… she was really into it ..
like she was re living it with me .. I still looked like shit and I said this to her ..
I excused myself for my look as I’m normally all clean and tidy to which she
agreed that after everything I went through it was ok to be a bit disorganized.
She kept going back to the hacking part and would ask how did I know I was
hacked etc.. I explained that I looked it up on YouTube and that I was
considering getting rid of my smart phone completely and get an old basic
phone .. she added that would be a great idea .. she also asked could she look at
my smart phone .. an odd request but I thought what the hell .. here you go and
I handed it to her and unlocked it
She browsed through my settings and went through intently while I sat there
drinking my lager and looking for the drinks trolly to come past .. she said hey
wait? I looked over and said what’s up has it crashed etc? She replied that I
hadn’t asked her what she did for a living yet? I said I’m sorry I was so busy
telling my story to her that I had forgotten to ask about her.
No that’s not why I said that .. she said she worked in IT in London and I was
indeed being hacked as in my phone settings there was an adult / child support
app that if a parent wanted to keep an eye on what their children were doing on
their smart phone they could access it remotely without the child knowing and
browse everything and she said everything all live and even record it to the
parent phone .. they could also take over the phone to delete or restrict or even

redirect what the target phone browsed on the internet or anything else you
could think of .. she said it’s ok now as you’re not on data or the Wi-Fi and it’s
in airplane mode. I looked at her and said see it’s all fucked up to which she
agreed… she tried a force stop on the app but it wouldn’t let her .. I asked her to
delete the hidden app that was always running in the background but she said it
needed a password to do this .. and as I didn’t install it I don’t have one and it
was only one attempt before it locked out completely. she said get rid of that
phone or factory default it .. I had so much on it from my counter surveillance
on the people who were watching me I didn’t want all that to go at all .. as
without all that I was just basically a paranoid madman!
She then gave me some wise words,
She sat calmly and said whatever and whoever is on you have spent a lot of
time and consideration into getting information about you that that they are in
your electronic equipment… for one she said it’s completely against the law and
two it’s a highly motivated and organised company or agency.
She then continued to say that the app that was running in the background on
my phone all hidden away was physically put on there by a person
downloading it and syncing it with the master take over phone!!!
Fuck so they had been near me .. who was that close to me to do that .. as my
fingerprint biometric was the unlock code. was it done while I was asleep or
something cleverer in style!
Some great advice came from that conversation… she said to me that I
had been through a lot, and I was definitely onto something. what that
was still unknown. she said very nice and clear so my exhausted body
and mind could understand… she said .. this is your life that’s being
messed with I suggest you take this break on holiday and use it to rest
yourself very well .. eat well, rest well, sleep well!! And because what
has happened to you, and I don’t suppose you are going to give it as I
can see it from your personality that you don’t give up and you haven’t
already. Go back to it all with a fresh head, fresh rested body and go
back to your caravan and approach it with a new tactic… I agreed with
her so much and because she understood in a certain way what I had
been through I was so happy to hear that after I showed her everything
that was on my phone to back up what I said in my story!
I finished the last round of drinks that I ordered us both and the staff
prepared us all for landing .. although I am shitting bricks for what was
in my suitcase, I was sat contently of the plane journey i took sat next to
this random kind and wise woman.
On the decent of the landing the reality hit me for what was in my case!!
I sobered up very quickly as the realisation on a foreign jail was
probably my fate!

I braced myself for questions by the authorities of Croatia and what
would I say .. it’s personal? Not quite the answer they would likely
accept.
All washed up and a change of t-shirt that I had in my luggage I braced
myself for questioning after I got off …
I queued like all the other passengers to get off the plane .. I pulled
myself together to make me not look on edge and smiled like it was
never in my suitcase. I pretended to blend in saying goodbye to the
cabin crew and thanking them for a lovely flight etc.
Normally I feel the air and different environment after getting off a flight
but not this time.
Getting to passport control I handed the agent my passport, I didn’t
fumble or stress I just thought of my children and I was smiling .. they
stamped my passport and welcomed me to the country .. I went through
and waited for my suitcase on the merry go round on arrivals .. my case
came off straight away and thought here we go .. I’ll just wait for the
police that were all over the airport to grab me once I grabbed the case
… I picked up the case and loaded it onto a trolley. I walked slowly
towards the exit and seen batches of police men in groups .. here goes
nothing .. the walk towards that door was so scary but thought what will
be will be and it was my own fault… the lady I was chatting to on the
plane said her Farewell and said to me .. the next time I would have
thought I’ll see you is when they make a documentary or series about
your life .. I giggled and said ..I doubt I’ll make it that far with a nervous
laugh .. next thing you know .. bang! I’m out of the airport and by the taxi
rank… I couldn’t believe it I was through! I sat on the wall refusing all the
taxis that wanted me to be their fare and had a cigarette… I went to the
stand just in the door and got a coffee… no one was coming for me at all
.. otherwise, they would have had me already, right? I had my coffee
and had another smoke outside by the taxi rank… the feeling of relief
was set on me, and I vowed never to do that again and I thanked God!
Never done that before but I promised him I wouldn’t be so stupid again!
After all the arrivals went and the taxi rank emptied I went back inside
the airport to use the toilet and check my case .. I nervously opened my
case with the door triple checked and locked behind me .. I opened the
case and there it was my Charlie .. sat there in a bag all wrapped up ..
so, I stuffed it down my trousers and went out to the taxi rank once
again.
Waiting at the taxi rank 3 cars pulled up and all the drivers got out and
approached me fast asking for my custom to where I was going .. I told them
the apartments I was going to and agreed a price with one of them .. I jumped

in his battered old Mercedes car and the 1st thing he says to me is ” want some
cocaine? ” My reply was I’ve brought my own .. he says it’s the best in Croatia
and my response was I’ve got the best I’m Swansea? with a smile.
I pulled out the bag of cocaine and he said to me how the hell did you get that
out here .. I told him the story and he kept repeating over and over that I was
crazy .. I said to him that I need a beer asap and he said he would take me to the
supermarket down the road and that’s where we went .. he instructed that I stay
in the car and the beer was his treat due to the customs scrape I just had ..
He came out and I had 2 lines of cocaine on his centre console… to which his
eyes lit up and I said clearly… don’t waste it and done a line as quick as a flash
in front of him to show him how to do it .. Swansea style!
He did his line and his head blew off .. he couldn’t believe how nice it was and
wouldn’t shut up .. I asked him how far it was and he said we should go see his
mate who he then rang .. they talked there lingo for a while and then he passed
me the phone to the guy on the phone .. they guy explained that his worker the
taxi driver was high as a kite and that he would like to buy some off me as the
driver said it was amazing!
I explained that it was not for sale and I didn’t want to go with the driver to see
him and I passed the phone back.
The driver explained that we must go see him as he was a boss .. I said ” Mafia
” he nodded while smoking his cigarette while being high as he’s ever been.
Traveling through the long roads I asked repeatedly that he was taking me to
my apartment, and he said yes, no problems. I had an easy feel so on a straight
part of the road while both drinking beers out of bottles I grabbed the steering
wheel and started pulling it towards the barrier on the side of the road. he kept
saying you’re crazy .. I said back and in a firm voice with a crazy look. you
will take me straight to the apartment or we will both be off the road and in
hospital… he took my look serious and made a call to the Mafia man he spoke
to earlier and nodded while in agreement with the voice on the phone. I said
loud I’ll come see you tomorrow mate I’m tired and the driver response was that
he heard me on the phone and they would pick me up the next day to have fun
as he put it !
I gave him a couple more lines to shut him up and gave a pinch of the cocaine
to take with him to make sure he wouldn’t nag me at all while dropping me off
at my new digs . Getting out of the car at my new place I felt the fresh air and
thought this is a bit of me .. the apartments looked great with a lovely blue pool
in a garden on the ground floor. Checking in at about 2300 with a man called
Mario who was the concierge of the building was so exciting I threw my bags
in and went back down stairs to see Mario about getting something to eat ..
there was nothing about that was open apart from a restaurant that was about a
mile up the road .. so, I walked up the road and just about caught the chef and

staff and the whipped me up a burger and chips which I washed down with a
cold holiday beer.
Getting back to the apartment I was exhausted. I spoke to Gareth on the phone
but didn’t have a foreign charger to charge my phone and as I had a low battery
I cut the call short and necked the two complementary beers that was in the
fridge , I crashed for the night in the early hours of the morning .
Waking up to the sunlight busting through the large apartment windows I
jumped in the shower while having a sing song being in the holiday mood .
All changed in my holiday clothes I jumped down to reception to thank them
for being so nice to me on my late arrival and the complimentary beers in my
room .. I asked what to do around this area and would he call me a taxi so I
could head into the main town to hire a car or motorbike his response was that
the police were on their way to get me, and I had knocked someone over the
night before drink driving!!
Drink driving. I haven’t got a car I replied… he said that they also had a
complaint from the apartment below me that I was up all night with loud music.
I said my Bluetooth speaker is dead and I’m hoping to get a universal plug
adapter to charge all my stuff ..
I went back to the police! I asked what and why was my details given about the
car traffic incident, but he didn’t know?
He just said they are on the way, and they will beat you! Beat me .. I thought
fuck that for a game of laughs I’m out of here .. I raced up stairs and threw all
my stuff into my suitcase with a plan to run down to the restaurant from the
night before and call a cab, I get downstairs in the lobby and told the guy there
that I was off .. he advised that I shouldn’t run!!
Standing on the curb hoping to flag down a taxi a car pulled up, it was Mario
who checked me in the night before he was in a panic a real panic!
He jumped out and ushered me into the vehicle and said he would help me get
away from the local police. there was no time to explain he said but he knew
that they were on the way to arrest me and what I have supposed to have done
wouldn’t be dealt with lightly …
Jumping in I noticed that he was in more of a panic than me and was also
sweating more than myself so with his knowledge of the punishment I realized
it would get very messy while in custody!
We sped off with him looking in his mirrors constantly making me basically
shit a brick with him .. I asked him where he was taking me and his reply was
to the busy part of the town so I could lose myself in the crowds .. I said ” I can
hardly blend in as I have bright holiday clothes on, and a bright blue pull along
large suitcase! “
Going through the streets I realised he was right! I needed to blend in and lay
low after all I hadn’t had a car so how the hell could they justify me being a

driver, I turned and said to Mario .. ” Will you be in trouble? ” He just looked
back at me with the sweat running off his head and nodded!
I said to him pull over! Pull over I can’t have anyone else getting in trouble for
whatever this is .. he said I’ll drop you behind the main streets .. I nodded in
agreement and he took a few more turns and pulled in behind a food delivery
truck .. as I got out I thanked him and he said you’re on your own now… I
couldn’t work out why the hell I was running and how all this had come about.
it was my luck I suppose and I said there and then to Mario .. the last year had
been hell and it was about to get worse with the police wanting me he said ..oh
by the way if they ask I will tell them I dropped you right here on this spot .. oh
great! What was the point of you running me into the town of split if you are
going to tell them where you took me .. all seemed pointless having his help ..
as I could have just explained to the police that I got to Croatia very late at
night and didn’t have a hire car to start and drive around never mind knock
someone over while drunk at the wheel ..
I nodded to him, said thank you for your help and gave him the equivalent of
£20 .
He drove off and an emotion came over me of pure panic ! What they do with
me ?.. do they beat you and ask questions later or were they a far police force?
Due to the expressions on Mario and the concierge on the front desk .. I quickly
worked out that they don’t mess about and the fact that they wanted me to flee
never gave me any support of thoughts I’d be alright.
Running through the streets knowing there was a call out for me I ran up and
down the back streets of split with no direction or destination to head for as I
was in unknown territory… I was sweating profusely and the suitcase I was
dragging about was like an albatross around my neck but I kept moving .. I
thought about changing clothes and find a hotel to check into to stay low .. so
that was the plan! Find a cheap hotel to check in with cash and sort myself out
.. I stopped in a local supermarket to grab some bread and ham and sat in the
rear behind a huge wall that the lorry’s pull in for deliveries, I sat there in
silence with no plan forward to approach this situation.
I laid back and ate my food and necked a can of coke to give me some sugars to
help with the state of shock I was in .. where was I going to go if I did get a
hotel? Was the local police looking for me in the area .. I was in the dark with
anything and everything in a country I’d never been to before .. i was scared!
My hands started to shake uncontrollable and my eyes and head hurt .. I felt
like I was just about to cry and was feeling so overwhelmed. I was alone and
this was my break to get away to regroup my mind and body .. and I was in a
disaster situation.
I walked up and down the main road hoping to blend in but I stuck out like a
sore thumb! I walked the main road out of town but the road took me to a main

motorway or busy bypass… so I turned around and headed back towards the
centre of split .. I could see the odd police car coming up the road and I would
hide in people’s drives and shop fronts with my back turned to the road with my
bright blue suitcase slightly hidden by my legs .. this went on for over an hour
while walking around .. my battery had 10% left on my phone as I didn’t have
an adaptor to charge it yet .. if or when I was arrested I would need my phone
to show my flight details to provide evidence that I was late getting into the
country .. I had hidden the cocaine behind the supermarkets and had no plans to
go get it back, so I thought with that on my mind, that was a problem done
with! My nerves were getting worse and panic set In on my mind .. who could I
call? Who would help? Who could help as I was in Croatia? My mind snapped
.. ” Fuck them! Fuck the police! I’m here on holiday. I’ll go to the station in
town and front it!
Walking towards the station as I could see the huge sign outside on the road .. I
rehearsed what I would say over and over in my head .. I got closer and closer
and then I was outside the station Itself .. that’s all I had to do was walk in and
explain right?
I bottled it .. I couldn’t go in the station knowing what Mario said about
beating me first .. there was a cafe next door so I dragged my case with
me and sat on my own .. I ordered 2 expressos and the women served
them was so kind .. she asked if I was from England… my reply was I’m
from Wales .. us Welsh always get this abroad and have to explain
where our country is .. normally finishing with ” y know .. tom Jones /
Gareth bale and then they trigger the location where Wales is in the
world “
So sitting there something snapped in my brain .. I decided there and
then that I couldn’t give 2 fucks to what would happen to me .. a feeling
came over me once again… and it was a big fuck you to the whole thing
and the whole world .. I was destined to be in trouble but with all my
experience in South Wales I decided that I wouldn’t care and any
troubles from there on I would kick back ..in all honesty I had given up
on life ..
Click click !!! I had a cold piece of metal against my head .. now in this
situation you and I would think this is bad? I turned my head slightly and
there was a policeman all braced up holding a gun to my head … My
initial thought was they were going to shoot, bit he said something in
their language and he said it firm ! He repeated it over and over and
then I was sat there with my bright blue suitcase surrounded by the
Croatian police!
It couldn’t get any more serious so I gave up and I was defeated and
with an exhaustive body and mind .. I screamed go on then shoot me I

couldn’t give 2 fucks .. they yelled and then I yelled back my same
response… go on then and put me out of my misery… fucking shoot me
you bunch of cunts!!
They yelled more so I did .. I reached for the officer’s gun to pull the
trigger and it reached a point that I was crying and shaking
uncontrollable, I had the urge to commit suicide by way of a police
man’s gun .. the next few hours were a blur .. I had a nervous
breakdown right then at that moment with the police surrounding me
with weapons… what was next was to be unseen and unknown.
The police threw me into a police car and started to question me in
broken English while I was having a breakdown… I couldn’t think
straight and fumbled all my answers .. they said that I was driving the
night before and I had hit someone while drink driving and I begged and
pleaded with them that it wasn’t me .. the officer who put me into the car
said to me while he was trying to calm down the situation with me in
tears and in a spin that they were taking me to the police station a
couple of miles away from town where they had the call about the
offence and it would take about 15mins to drive .. I begged him not to
take me to jail while crying my eyes out and he proceeded to calm me
down with the car on the side of the road pulled over!
I cried and cried and told him what had happened to me in the UK and
why I was I Croatia to have a rest .. I got through to him on a human
level and he listened while still calmly talking and listening to me as I
cried with fear.
He suggested that I would need a head doctor to assess me .. I thought
oh great I’ve been trying not to get into a mental hospital in Wales .. and
now I’m going to be in some destitute asylum on a hill with a shaved
head waking in circles on a Chain in some nut house where I don’t know
the language… this has turned out great and I said to him you should
have shot me .. it would have been better for me .. he turned around
and looked at me dead in the eyes and said ” my friend you are in
trouble and after spending time with you I don’t believe it’s you we are
looking for? ” I replied I’m not I promise and I swear to you I haven’t
done anything wrong ..”
The conversation turned almost civil as I called down and I stopped
crying… he explained to me that there were officers at my apartment I
had rented to confirm my arrival date and time and they were waiting on
CCTV footage of the hit and run… I sat there picking my fingernails in a
state of fear and anxiety… He was so friendly to me after about 20mins
while sat on the side of the road .. he said that I couldn’t go back to the
apartment at all and I was banned from the area .. his radio went and he

talked back and forth to the main station.
He nodded to his colleague and they both turned to me to talk , they
said that they wouldn’t take me in the station unless it was confirmed it
was me and the apartment concierge had confirmation that I had arrived
late the night before, so they sort of believed me and with me being a
nervous wreck they both agreed that taking me to the station would be a
bad move for my mental health as they could see that I was in the
middle of a breakdown.
They both agreed that they would take me to a local hotel to stay while
they carried out the investigation, they were in agreement that it wasn’t
me as I showed them the times I got into their country. They took me to
the hotel, and I got a room. They took me to my room and went through
all my belongings… they took all my money off me along with my
passport… they said do not leave the hotel and said firmly do not leave
your room we have a man downstairs, and we have your money and
passport. You will have these back when we return but we are getting a
head doctor to have a look at you as you grabbed our gun and wanted
to end your life .. we have not seen this before and we are worried
about you .. what you told us adds up about where you were last night
and you haven’t got a car .. so, stay here and wait for our return… I
asked how long they would be and they said while shutting the door to
the hotel room .. ” Just wait ok “
So I was in a hotel room with no money or passport and my phone had
3% battery… I looked at the sockets to see if they had an USB adapter
and there wasn’t .. I checked the TV and it did have one .. I switched the
phone off and let it charge on the TV USB port .. I laid on the bed and
cried uncontrollable once again .. I was head fucked and I was possibly
heading for jail .. I thought about bribing them but they took my cash ..
then I thought they would jail me for trying to bribe them .. my thoughts
raced through the whole possibilities of me going to a nut house, jail and
best case scenario me getting kicked out of the country… the latter was
only a distant dream at that moment in time ..
I laid on the bed and prayed to God over and over. I said in my head
that if he got me out of this sticky situation that I would be a good boy
forever and ever… I prayed for luck to be on my side .. for once I wanted
to be anywhere but in that hotel room!
Staring at my phone on charge it got to 11% so I turned it on … A couple of
missed call alerts came through the message services and I thought I’ve only
got a couple of chances to get out of this and who the hell would I call to
explain this mess I was caught up in with the Croatian police??

My mind raced while my body still wanting to give up and collapse… over and
over I went through my head .. who the hell could I call for support and advice
on what to do …
I hit call .. I was calling Andy at the scrap yard. after all he was like a brother to
me .. but in my mind, I didn’t know if he could give me advice! I knew he
would support me but was he clued up on foreign affairs. I doubted it but as he
was always stable and clear headed he would offer something… and I needed
something… anything!!
The phone rang and rang .. pick up please mate I said to myself in my head ..
no response!! Fuck fuck !!!
I tried again and no answer… I had hit rock bottom… I thought he might have
heard something and thought he had fucked me off as I was a headache but not
only to myself but to others .. I felt so alone. so so alone!
I put it back on charge and wondered how far would I get if I bolted from the
hotel through a fire escape somewhere on the fire escape on the staircase near
my room .. I plugged the phone back in to charge while wondering who the hell
was I going to call .. I didn’t have any ideas right then as I said I was having a
mental breakdown, my daughter popped into my head but she wouldn’t want to
hear her father in a mess in a foreign country…
I sat there in silence staring at the phone on a slow drip charge .. it rang .. it was
Andy .. I was so happy and relieved. I explained the mess I was in and what I
thought was going to happen to me .. he didn’t know what to do… he said “
mate, what can I do .. shall I fly out and do something to help… what can I do
mate .. tell me and I’ll do it no problems… tell me how to help you? ” I sat there
in tears but at least I had my Andy on the phone… he was asking me what had I
done this time .. I explained what had gone on .. and he said .. ” oh shit ..
sounds like you’re in trouble and a lot by the sounds of things .. I cried and I
told him I hadn’t felt like this before ever… he said mate you’re having a
nervous breakdown… I agreed… I was sobbing away asking for help .. but how
was this situation going to ease up with any help he could offer? He couldn’t
say much but he said he was there for me whatever I needed .. it was such a
relief to even speak to him .. then the hotel room door went .. they were back,
the police!
I put the phone down on Andy after saying they were back and I would call
back as soon as I could… he wished me luck! And he meant it .
The police say me down .. they walked over to the big shutter on the far side of
the room .. the officer pushed a button on the side of the wall .. and the shutter
went up letting the sunlight into that dark lonely room.. once the shutter was up
and the room illuminated he held my arm and stood me up .. he pointed to the
blue sea and the beach we could see outside the hotel grounds and said ” do you
like swimming? ” I replied while shaking yes .. he said have you got swimming

shorts .. I said yes while nervously looking at him wondering what the hell he
was on about, he repeated have you got swimming shorts? I replied yes I’m on
holiday of course I have .. he said .. maybe you should go swimming, you look
like you need it along with some fresh air… I couldn’t understand what the hell
was going on. he grabbed both my arms and said firmly. sir, there has been a
huge mistake and I’m sorry that you have had all this trouble on your first day
in Croatia… please get your things and go down to that beach and relax .. we
are rely sorry but you are not the man we are looking for… it has been cleared
up now and you are free to go!
I wanted to hug him and I was so relieved as part of me thought I deserved all
of this .. part of my mind felt tired .. but I felt so happy that I started crying
again .. he gave all my money back and handed back my passport to which I
kissed when in my hands! They tried to give me some advice on where is best
to go and have fun etc, but I wasn’t bothered I just wanted to go outside and
have a beer on that beautiful beach.
They left and I left swiftly after them and headed for the beach bar I had seen
from the room.
I sat there and called Andy to tell him it was Over… he was so relieved for me
but also concerned. He said .. fuck Jimmy only you could have a scrape like
that .. only you mate he said while laughing. I was so relieved, and I mean so
relieved.
I sat and had my beer and said to the barman and a man at the bar you wouldn’t
believe the day I’ve had here… the man on the stool said go on try me… I didn’t
have the heart to relive it over, so I said I’ll tell you another time, keep those
beers coming barman.